Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Self Worth


Have you ever had someone make you feel like you are not wanted?  I'm sure in some capacity you have experienced this.  

I recently did and it sucks.  Someone let me know in a round-about way that I was not wanted.  I wasn't invited or welcomed.  I feel like a 7 year old who was not given a birthday party invitation when the rest of the class is invited.

Of course we are adults and this person didn't come out and say it but I could just tell.  You know what I mean?  And I'm not just being paranoid-I could tell. This is someone who I consider a friend but this showed me that I'm not in the same category of friend that I had assumed.  

I had gotten the vibe before that it was more of a one-sided friendship.  Now I know.  I've heard the saying that every relationship is 40%-60% meaning that one person in the relationship loves/likes the other person more.  But I see that this friendship is more 20%-80%.  

So I  have been feeling a little worthless the past few days.  I hate that I let one person make me feel this way. It makes me wish that I had more self-confidence to not let it bother me.  

Even at the age of 43 I still let what other people think of me matter.  I want to reach a point in my life that I just don't care about what others think.  But I'm just not that type of person.  It matters.  But I just have to get to where I have more self worth.  I am confident it will come with age. :)

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